Black Friday, 2009

Posted: November 27th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: General | 3 Comments »

My wife Melissa and I spent the morning putting up our Christmas tree in our tiny little apartment. We ended up rearranging the whole place the make room for the Christmas tree and we still had to leave off some of the branches against the wall in order to fit it snuggly into our cozy little living room. It was a very relaxing and enjoyable way to spend the day after thanksgiving. This is a tradition I wouldn’t mind keeping for the day after thanksgiving as opposed to our national tradition of pushing all of our beloved box retailers into the black.

I realized today that I am a huge sucker for both traditions and holidays. I cherish all of the little things that make certain days or times of the year different from all of the rest. As we were putting up our tree today, I suddenly came to this realization. Every little thing that we do during these “special” moments of the year causes me to ask myself, “could this be the beginning of a lifelong tradition?” The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how important little traditions have been to me during the course of my life. After spending a little time thinking about it, I have come up with a theory as to why this is. Let me share it with you briefly.  I would love to hear feedback and comments from anyone who has two cents to put in.

I think that when we are growing up, our family is the most important thing to us. That small group of people closest to us becomes our home, our identity and our security. I think this creates a built-in desire to continually define ourselves in terms of our membership in this thing we call family. I view traditions as unspoken promises that exist between all of the members of a family. These promises say that we will always be family and that there are certain things we can always count on in this family.

Growing up, the little traditions, like knowing that we would go to church on Christmas Eve and then go home and open presents immediately afterwords, were extremely important to me. The more I think about it, the more I believe this was not just because of the excitement that I got from opening presents but more so because it was something that we all knew would happen. It was something we did because we were the Fischers and the Fischers did things a certain way.

I think every tradition a family keeps is a little extra bit of glue in the emotional bond that a family has. For children in particular, I believe this creates the extremely important feeling of security that gives a child the confidence to be exactly who they are and know that they are loved.

Now obviously, I do not think that a load of traditions can replace cultivating healthy parent/child relationships. I do however think that a healthy family can benefit a lot from these little unspoken promises. Whether these promises are major traditions tied to a Holiday or just little parts of the daily routine that are “our family’s thing”, these promises are important.

The T+M Fischer Christmas Tree 2009

The T+M Fischer Christmas Tree 2009

3 Comments on “Black Friday, 2009”

  1. 1 Tessa Nelson said at 11:15 pm on November 27th, 2009:

    When you say, ” That small group of people closest to us becomes our home, our identity and our security” it really makes me think what a huge responsibility we have as young adults that will be the parents (small group) of the next generation! The responsibility to teach them about our GOD, about what’s right, what’s wrong, work ethic AND what kind of traditions we have/set!! What a huge thought, but yet it’s an exciting thought:)

  2. 2 Mary Kaye Fischer said at 12:28 pm on November 28th, 2009:

    In my Humble opinion you have happened onto something very very significant,these sweet years of removing branching to build the tradition are the concrete foundation of you and Sissa’s forever together.

    another level of thought on the small promises and glue. I believe if a child is sadly in a home where the security and guarantee of forever is not a promise they can rest in , they will often cling unnaturally to the practical traditions. With your daddy and i , he rested very peacefully in what we could do this year/today… on the other hand i have desperately fought to make and keep many traditions, ie massive holiday baking,
    as it has allowed our home to “feel” well, we are doing ok , we are making this work if these things happen in this way. Making the commitment to make it work in Christ, finding the balance between “we will do this” and “we can lighten up this year” then resting in the hope of His unfolding plan is a sweet and beautiful journey. i love tradition…i love sentiment ….He works powerfully through these details.
    I love the “crop” of your tree picture…i bet you can not get far enough from the tree to capture the entire thing ?

  3. 3 Linda Moser-Buse said at 10:31 am on March 21st, 2010:

    I love your comments about traditions and them being the glue in a famly. However, I have come to realize that it is not actually what you do for the tradition, but that you do it as a family. Every year when my girls were little we got together for Thanksgiving and Christmas-eve. It became a family tradition. However, now Tiffany is married and needs to incorporate the family tradition of the Fischer family and Jennifer is living in New Berlin with Tom and is trying to incorporate the family traditions of Tom’s family. So as a compromise we had Thanksgiving on Wednesday and Christmas eve on the eve of Christmas eve. All my friends asked me if I was sad then on Thursday, Thanksgiving or Christmas-eve becuase my family was not with me. I told them no, I realized that it really wasn’t the date that we did everything, but the fact that we still did everything as a family. I think maybe traditions are not the glue that binds the family but the family and their love of togetherness that binds them. Thanks for your blog. It really gets me thinking of family and how blessed I really am to have them. – Linda Buse

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